Well, I guess this is it. I just have to live with the way things are, accept how things are. Yes, I have to live with the fact that a VS guy is carrying the same bag as me. Damn. Disheartening. Mhmm. At least he's not gay. Well, thank you for that, stranger.

Went to borders with fatin. With a budget of ten bucks, we searched helplessly for a birthday present. And since she haven't give the present yet, I won't state the name in case the person finds out that it's for her before it's given to her. I don't wanna be a party pooper, ya know.

I went high. I was dead. She called me scary. I was hugging the parkway bus stop pole and singing elmo's theme song. Fatin called me dead cause I replied with no life. I'm sorry I disappointed you, Coach. K called me scary. Cause I sound threatening? Well, I don't know. I didn't thought it was threatening in any way. But she said sorry and promise me a hug tomorrow. That made me feel better I suppose. Maybe she felt bad after I didn't reply her msg. Don't worry, it wasn't that I was angry at you. My bill is going KABOOM. And that's a bad sound.

I can't say things are getting better. Once I do say it, I feel like dying. But once I get tired of being half-alive, I tell myself that I am strong. I'm sick of this. I hate this. But I can't help it. I promise to step aside. Yeah. I won't let anything bad happen again. I promise. I'll just die secretly. Then you won't have to be sad. Heck. I don't think you would even notice I'm gone. It's okay. It's time for me to back away. Slowly. But I will. You love her. She loves you. What can I do? You've always loved her. She had always been loving you. I'll just let her have you. It's okay if you forget me one day. She told me being heart broken is not a big a deal. It happens. But it contradicts with how she seems to react to it before. Sigh. I'm tired of love. I wanna get out of it. Fast.

Well, this would be the first time in a week.
That I talk to you and I can't speak.
Spent three whole days since I've had sleep.
Cause I dream of her lips on your cheeks.
I got the point that I should leave you alone,
but we both know that I'm not that strong.
I miss the lips that made me fly ;